I don´t know why but I have a feeling that you will be the first of my anticipated children. I hope you have your mother’s eyes because mine look pretty ordinary and boring. I hope you have my sense of humor though so we can laugh at cheesy things that others will find childish. I hope that you will love life the way I do and accept not only the joy that comes along but also the pain and hurt that will push you to grow. I hope you will be optimistic and see the good that exists in everyone without judgment. I hope that you will be generous and see the value in helping others in need. Most of all I hope that you will learn to be happy because the world can be a menacing and discouraging place if you rely on external dynamics to nourish your inner harmony. I always wished I could talk to myself in the past and give myself hints on how to lead my life. But if there’s one thing we learn from all those time traveling movies is that fate can hardly be changed for the better. I can´t change the actions of my older self and I wont look to change yours just so I can feel some sort of justification. This letter is the first thing I offer you as a testament of the things I have learned and continue to learn. One day you will read this, and I hope it will make you smile.
You´re going to have times in your life where you have to make imperative decisions. You will probably not like the fact that you have to give up things. Sometimes you have to give up money, sometimes you will give up fun, but worst of all you will give up relationships. Friends will disappoint you and so will family. But you have to be strong enough to understand why it is the way it is and you have to be strong enough to either deal with it or move along from it. If you end up being optimist and generous people will abuse your kindness. I hope you realize early on though that the problem will not be the fact that you´re too kind, but rather you´re too kind to the wrong people. Some people will earn you generosity and trust. Some people will be just as understanding and kind to you. I hope you become good at identifying such people and make it an objective to surround yourself with them.
I hope that you will be strong and independent. However, I hope that you will pretend to need me from time to time. Because it will give me such great pleasure in knowing that you will always need me to do fatherly things such as hug you when you cry or shake your boyfriends hand a little too firmly. Otherwise I want you to be fearless and knowledgeable.
People will make you believe that your happiness will rely on the image you are able to portray for yourself. They will make you believe that this image is dependant on your economic status, your accomplishments and quality of the pictures you post on facebook and instagram. I hope you realize from an early age how little significance that all carries. Of course, you need money and you need some sort of career. But I want you to master the notion of being content with what you have. So far the happiest people I have come across in this world are people that have very little material worth and yet are very rich in life. I definitely do not want you to starve or to experience hardship in order to learn these lessons but I hope you will be awakened enough to understand it that way I do. I want you to see that the key to happiness will be in your hand and no one else’s.
High school will be a treacherous environment for you if you allow the opinions of others to influence you. I hope you realize early on that being kind and understanding is much more important than being cool. Kids have a way of being nasty and they will make you very uncomfortable in your own skin. But you have to stand up to them and find your genuine self so as not to be a predisposed product of your generation’s standards. I hope you will be strong enough to withstand the social pressures that come along.
It’s a little hard for me to say this but I hope you get your heart broken, because it happens to all of us and we become stronger from it. I remember the first time I fell in love. I felt invincible. I thought I had everything figured out and life was beautiful, little did I know that it was all a figment of my imagination. When it ended it felt like my life had ended along with it. It will hurt…a lot! and I will be there to feel the pain with you. Some people will act as though its no big deal when your heart breaks. They will tell you “time heals everything” and move along with their day. You will sit there and replay every scenario in your head wondering how you could’ve been wrong. The one person you vow to love and cherish for the rest of your life just up and figuratively vanishes. I hope you will be strong enough to not allow it to consume you. I hope you will let it fuel your motivation to continue being relentless and not bitter. You will see all kinds of relationships failing or flourishing around you and it will confuse you greatly trying to figure out how the mechanics of the heart function. People will love providing you with theories about how love works and how it should work. If you are like me you will politely listen but you will not agree. Because as much as people will try to tell you that they have figured it out, they know nothing about love. Tell them my daddy says you’re wrong!
I want you to love unconditionally and to never question or try to rationalize why you care about someone. If you love, love wholeheartedly and honestly. Give your time and energy to a person you believe will provide you with the same. Look profoundly into their eyes and experience the beauty of being securely embraced by another person. You will find that there is no such thing as Mr. Right. You will probably meet a couple of Mr. Maybes. But I hope you come to find that love is created, not found. My generation is the “maybe” generation. It is the generation that is scared to commit not just in relationships but also in everything else. We have an inclination to believe that settling is a bad thing because there maybe something better out there. While I hope you always strive for better be wary of the people in your life that love and care about you. While some may not know how to express their emotions it may be up to you to teach them how to love without reservations. Even if it means getting your heart broken. Trust me.
So its been decided that you will have your mothers eyes and my smile. You don’t have much of a say in the matter! I look forward to knowing you and learning from you. I hope that we will have an honest relationship in which you will never be scared to talk to me as a friend. Maybe you will find me dorky and wouldn’t want to tell me things. Maybe you will laugh at how high I wear my pants the way I laugh at my dad. I cant promise that I wont embarrass you in front of you friends when I drop you off at school and try to kiss you on forehead. I also cant promise not to get angry if a boy breaks your heart and tries to take advantage of you. But I can promise to be your companion through all your good and bad times. I promise to call you beautiful even if you have that green thing all over your face with cucumbers on your eyes (I never understood what that was for). I don’t want to show you how to live your life, for it is yours to be lived. However, I will be here to guide and support you every step of the way. I don’t know when you will be here. I don’t even know who will deliver you. I don’t know if you will be right or left handed and I don’t know if you will like football the way I do. But I know you will be beautiful, strong, intelligent and kind.
And I love you, even before you exist.
Thank you for reading 😊